So much drama escalating in these recent days... Here closes out spring break, and it has been filled with...so much...problems...so much....trouble..
I figured Spring Break would be a nice relaxation from my usual hectic life filled with craziness and nuisances. I could just rest adaquetely and do what needs to be done. Who knew things would turn out the way they did? One problem after another presents itself. Within the group drama reveals its ugly nature. After the whole dilemma with Thao I didn't figure this would happen again. One friend with a conflict to another, and I have to put things in perspective. I don't know what to say at times, I'm stumped. I only hope they'll put aside their differences and get along for this is nothing to throw away a friendship for.
Then there is my own discord with a certain person trying to invade upon our circle. I'm not exactly sure why I respond the way I do, yet here I am. I suppose I feel threatened by this, but if things are truly fine, I have nothing to worry about. I could come off as brash and rude, but it I have my reasons. I just am not quite fond of the bickering and baby-attitude. Don't look to us for a mother. I have enough trouble with my own, this issue isn't needed. And speaking through someone else is a bitch move. You're not that bad, but don't push it. I can and will handle this shit if I feel the need to.
Words don't seem to be enough at times. Actions speak louder? True, but what should I do? Break out the pizza slicer?
Let's leave this entry on a good note... I got my car!!!! Yay me! I can go anywhere I want without having constrictions set on me. It still hasn't hit me, the shock I get to find out I'm growing up. I bet when it does it'll hit hard. The car isn't so bad. I'll get used to it after a while. Lots of things need to be done to it. Thank you Chị Hai, I do appreciate it. Please know I am grateful for you. I do love it. Sure it has its problems, but it's all mine. I'm still not satisfied yet though. I never will be. Merely one step after the other. There is this Acura I'm scoping out. Within 3-4 years, oh yeah..
-forever hp
ps...did you celebrate earth hour by turning off your lights? don't worry, me neither, though it is a nice thought.
1 comment:
Hmph. Interesting take on me, but I believe there are pieces missing to my beautiful corrupt puzzle. Let me help you find your missing jigsaw piece.
I am Anthony, a dramatic outsider with a “baby-attitude“. But I deal with that. I can live with who I am. I still wake up in the morning, go to school, and play daddy. I'm not "look[ing] to [you] for a mother". If I was looking for that, I wouldn‘t look far. I have a mother who understands me, loves me, and cares for me. I am looking for understanding friends. Ones who aren't forced by blood and law to be there for me. I thought I found them in a group of seemingly quiet, fun individuals. I guess I was wrong.
You may think I was “trying to invade upon [your] circle”. I see things in a different perspective. I am an outsider, a simple drifter who has found his way to your “circle” by means of fate and love. I in no means threaten your placing, your structure, or the mechanics of your government. I merely wished to feel a part of a group of friends I respected. How does one not find their way to a circle without first being an “invader”? Connections, status, loyalty? I wonder who was the invader and who was the founder?
In the end, you may be right. I may very well be exactly what you spell me out to be. Then again, I’ve been known to disappoint peoples’ expectations. I guess only time will tell if I am an Italian waiting for a “pizza slicer” or a friend wanting a break.
Hate me or love me. My words won’t change a thing. “Words don’t seem to be enough at times”. And people wonder why I choose not to talk.
I don't want trouble. Not for my love, not for my life, not for prom. I will try not to displease you or your friends. If after weeks after this posting I still disappoint your "circle", I will walk out of it and her life forever. No hard feelings, no harsh words. I love her way too much to be the Judas to her Jesus.
Forever yours,
Pizza
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