i'm sitting at the wings

It's a little lonelier this time around. Not the exciting excursion I was looking to. I could go around playing tourist with a camera at my hand, but I just want to sit in this corner and lose myself in another world. Clouds cover the sky, rain drops sting. I'm going home. In a way I want to be home already, in a way I want to go anywhere but home. Back to my rut, back to the emptiness.

My flights are delayed. Joy. I hope that's the worst it gets. No more continued delays.

~~

Some people are really mean. I only want to go home, don't be curt with me, I didn't do anything wrong.

filling in the void

My computer says 2009 in bold black letters…it's odd. Wow, another year already? Everything is moving so fast.

A few resolutions to accomplish:
New friends. Now it's the Baton Rouge chapter of my life, I can’t keep looking to the past. That in no way means anyone is getting sacrificed, but there’s always room for more, right?
Less drama. If someone gets on my nerves, I’ll just wish them a painful death & be on my merry way.
Be…nicer? Or rather more accepting, watch my sharp tongue.
Lose weight. Cut back on things that are –obviously- bad for me. No, cokes aren't getting sacrificed, but I’ll cut it back, especially after a Johnny Carino's employee publicly blasts me.
Find someone? I'm lonely. I want someone’s shoulder to lean on, content in the moment.

..yea.

--

I had to say goodbye to a really close friend today. It hurt. My eyes are watering as I write this. I don't look forward saying it to the rest.

jj lin loooooove

"Bearbicks take a shit on my sofa.."

Yeah... but that smile can launch 1000 ships, I swear.

a little closer to home

In the corner of my eye, I watch you. You're in my mind everyday. I wonder if it means something.

Tôi không chắc chắn lý do tại sao tôi muốn bạn, lý do tại sao tôi nghĩ về bạn. Nhưng khi tôi làm thế, tôi cảm thấy hạnh phúc, nội dung. Tình trạng khốn cùng? Tôi xin lỗi.

nothing to show for it

Let's start over. Hi. My name's Harrison. Nice to meet you. Have a nice day.

No redo button? Figures. What is that word? Repentance? Yuck. Damn you cricket. Take your umbrella and go. GUILT. How abstract. Yet such the plague. I can't breathe. Pang after pang.

Tôi không hiểu bạn. Lựa chọn di. Chỉ chắc chắn sao cho tôi không điên. Rời khỏi những giấc mơ của tôi, những hình ảnh tưởng tượng của tôi, tim của tôi. Thời gian thật sự chữa khỏi mọi vết thương? Hy vọng vào nó.

Ghen tị? Lợi dụng? Vải láng? Chắc chắn.

You, Anh, 您, Tu, あなた, 당신

I love you for just being you.

Because of you, I dread to sleep and can't wait to wake.

You're the stars in my sky

You're the yin to my yang


Smile, because it's just so beautiful on you.


Your grin makes me melt.


Don't frown; it's just so heartbreaking.

Your laugh is music to my ears.

Your touch is electric.

Now just one question. Who are you?

lost in your eyes

Blink, if only for a moment. Let me capture a glance of the lucious pools of chocolate.

from shivering tundras to endless space

So I was watching this documentary on the Travel Channel ---which rocks by the way---and it was about wildlife in Alaskan wilderness. There was a very interesting segment on sea otters, in particular. They eat a third of their weight in seafood. They spend pretty much most of their life in the water. They float on their backs when they sleep, fearing that sometimes they'll awake miles away from their original place. To overcome this challenge, they wrap themselves in rooted seaweed as to not drift off afar. They use their bellies as a tray, smashing a clam open with a trusty rock to attain their prized possession. Their fur is immensely dense, warming them to temperatures that we in Louisiana could never imagine.

What sticks out to me about this is how different their climate is from ours. How could I survive in days where the sun would not emerge? Though seeing an aurora borealis would be nice, withstanding a winter hitting way below zero is enough to scare me anyways.

Humans adapt right? They find ways to survive around their surroundings. Making the Moon a home? Sounds crazy now, but from what the news report, in due time such dreams will transform into reality. It sounds amazing, something I would love to do. Could you imagine, the sky, an eternal gaze of unreachable stars. I suppose this is my passion, astronomy. Supernovas, galaxies, nebulas, it just fascinates me. It's romantic to say the least; drifting into the unknown with no expectations, just fantasies. We can't be the only ones. There must be others. You're out there. Somewhere.

....unrequited? think again...

Another day to "X" out on the calendar..Rip the month off, it's all over now.

You're so real. You must be. And yet, to describe you would leave me speechless. I dream of you every night, fantasize everyday. The only thing actually keeping me 제정신. The other side of the valley. The farther I reach, the longer the stretch. Don't hide; actually, go ahead. Try. I'll find you. No matter how far, how long, you can't hide.

But then let's hit more towards home. I crave....logically it just wouldn't work out. That's why I say nothing. I keep to myself. I sit and stare. Staring never hurt anyone right? Wrong. It only drags me in. Am I jealous? You have no идея. Sure it could be nothing, just a fluke. But I don't want it to be. It was influence, I'll admit. Luxure? I would have never figured. It'll never happen. Merely, khao khát. Just once, & I'll put it past me forever. I hide. I shroud it in 闲置交谈..what happened to direct confrontation? Comprehending is pointless, so much to scoprire.

I'll never tell. My own regret. I've tried. Too obvious? It's possible. Who else? Just one, one too many.

You'd never understand. But then that's オーケー, because you have a lifetime to try.