now's the time

In recent days, I've had numerous..debatable discussions about topics all across the board: life, the future, religion, politics, academia, & such in the most random of places & times: at work, in class, out, online.. It seems everyone has something different to say everytime, & that's interesting. I feel more enlightened (& college-y) talking about my views on so-and-so & hearing their input. Sometimes I feel outshadowed by them, feeling naive & unaware of the world I'm in.

I feel so unaccomplished already at age 18. Those around me already seem to have done so much, experience various feats, been all over the world. My peers tell me there's plenty of time to experience, to change my life to how I want it to be. I hope I'm not too late..

I spent too much of last semester turning to the past, trying to hold on. This year, it isn't so. I'm looking forward with high hopes. Experience new things, meet new people, go to new places..be a new me.

things i think of in the course of a day

~food
~homework
~the past
~the future
~sex
~happiness
~exercise
~friends
~sleep
~Oscar & Vienna
~boredom
~facebook
~class
~music
~leaving
~love
There's more, but this is all that presently comes to mind. There's three of these I think about most..which?

"can we bring yesterday back around?"

I always compare my life to song lyrics. It feels more significant, meaningful that way. Does that sound stupid? Probably.

filling in the void

My computer says 2009 in bold black letters…it's odd. Wow, another year already? Everything is moving so fast.

A few resolutions to accomplish:
New friends. Now it's the Baton Rouge chapter of my life, I can’t keep looking to the past. That in no way means anyone is getting sacrificed, but there’s always room for more, right?
Less drama. If someone gets on my nerves, I’ll just wish them a painful death & be on my merry way.
Be…nicer? Or rather more accepting, watch my sharp tongue.
Lose weight. Cut back on things that are –obviously- bad for me. No, cokes aren't getting sacrificed, but I’ll cut it back, especially after a Johnny Carino's employee publicly blasts me.
Find someone? I'm lonely. I want someone’s shoulder to lean on, content in the moment.

..yea.

--

I had to say goodbye to a really close friend today. It hurt. My eyes are watering as I write this. I don't look forward saying it to the rest.

hi

Hi? Wow, original. I really don't have anything particular or interesting to say, but I figure if I keep writing, something will come to me.
....writer's block...

Here at Coffee Bean, it's rather dead. But that's okay, too many people annoy me.

Ahhh internet, sweet sweet internet. How I've missed you so. I always check 4 things everytime: Facebook, Capital One, LSU, & Blogger. Oh, & I turn on Megaupload to download....documentaries. Yeah, that sounds plausible.

I feel unaccomplished being here. I want to go -home.- Hm. In only a few months, a new strange city has already been adopted as my domicile. Though being here spending time with friends who I hardly get to see during school is much valued, I feel...unfitting here. Everyone is going on with their seperate lives, & I am merely trying to cling on, hoping for a moment of attention. I hate that.

I want "để tìm bản thân mình."

...it's lonely here.

ain't mah problem

I'm pissed. & when I am, there's no leeway in changing my opinion. Go ahead, fuck up your life. And? I care why?

Okay. Get mad. Sure, you got a rise out of me, but knowing that I did as well is delightful.

When it all comes down to it, you ain't blood. Never will be. So I don't give a fuck.

done.

Whew. Time to exhale. Hello sleep.

winter wonderland?

I'm having difficulty typing this. My fingers are numb, & move..chunkily. Must be frozen, really. I woke up early to get some more studying done at the library. I walk out the door, & what do I see but a rather thick layer of white on...everything. It registers. "Oh my god! It's snow!"

A car literally skidded 3 lanes over to mine & almost hit me. Not fun.

At least everyone around me is marveling like buffoons as well. I should be studying. My final is in less than half an hour.

I wish someone, anyone, was here to share this with me now. Two guys in the quad were having a snowball fight. I want to throw a snowball at someone!

The guy on the computer across from me has specks of snow in his hair. I guess he doesn't feel it yet. *reaches up to head* Oh. I can relate.

Thursday, 7:07 am. December 11th, 2008. Louisiana. Baton Rouge. LSU. Snow. It's so weird writing that word!

I'm going to be sad to see it go. See you in...18 more years? Let this moment last just until you're by my side.

.....I just can't stop smiling.....

anh joseph cao is my obama

"1st Vietnamese-American elected to US Congress."

That makes me really happy.

Once in Kinder, a guy walked up & merely asked me "North or South?" The nerve.

tick tock

3:14..yay pi time. I'm a math major, I can say that without teasing.

My eyes have difficulty staying open, yet I'm not feeling so tired.

I'm watching old music videos on youtube that I haven't seen since my childhood. Damn you, Kaylyn.

Turns out I'll be heading down to LC much sooner than planned. Longer, too.

I feel like shit. So sick (of love songs). I keep coughing every 30 seconds. Blood'll come out sooner or later. After downing a whole bottle of Vicks 44, I'm still sick. Wonderful. [I THINK I'M GETTING EVERYONE AROUND ME SICK. SORRY GUYS, BUT THE BEST WAY TO GET OVER IT IS TO PASS IT ON.]

Yeah, okay, finals are coming up. I haven't really studied yet. I need to. CC's coffee? Yucky. Highland Coffee? Eww. Charlie's Coffee? YUM.

Yeah okay, this is starting to sound alot like your newest blog entry, Rachel. This "freshman experience?" I don't think I've experienced the full effect, & that saddens me. I do think that this college experience has hit me though. In random moments. Crashing in the union between classes, waking up on the floor of a friend's apartment after a rowdy night, skipping...just for the hell of it. Okay well that one happened in high school too. I'm rather happy with this BR life though. Though I miss my friends terribly, I like it here. I like the atmosphere. Though any place other than LC, I'd be happy haha.

bleh