wishing you a merry..well just wishing you an xmas

It's that time of year again, when the stockings are hung, jolly tunes are sung, and joy is infectious. But is it? This year, it seems so humbug to me. I'm not in that united Christmas spirit, I just feel like it's another day, one I'm not bored in class or stuck at work.

With all the religious aspects of it, I find myself turning away from it. Timothy's mom sent me a card with cash in it, but when I read the contents, I just put the money back in and sealed the envelope. The money's tainted now. Why push your beliefs on me? How disrespectful is that? I'm not lost, or confused. I just choose not to follow any certain religion. Not to say I don't believe in anything, I just don't practice. Who is to say your idea is the right one anyway? Okay, getting off topic here.

I must be Scrooge. I need a few ghosts to come and show me what I'm lacking, why my heart isn't filled with warmth this year. But come to think, I can recall an unfulfilled promise I made earlier, one that tears me up inside. I'm sorry, you. I failed.

twinkle

This is weird, but you know those people whose eyes just express any emotion they have? I love that. It tells so much without words spoken.

I also like people who have a great smile, a genuine one, not a fake shallow one.

So yeah, that's my random quirk of the day.

i'm over it, no, really, it's done with.

Finals, both a blessing and torture. I hope everyone is studying more than me, that being waiting until the night before to pretty much crack the book, sacrificing sleep and sanity.

just tap 3 times

May ngay nay toi da thay may nguoi vong day dang...ngu thiet. Tai sao toi muon quan he voi dam nay? Boi vi toi khong duoc gap clique viet? Trach nhu vay. May chuyen nay toi ghet thiet. Di theo vong may nguoi nay lam tao ghet no.

I think I miss how it used to be, but do I really? Ngay xua khi cho nay chi la cho toi thoi.

All this bad stuff keeps happening. Not really to me, yet I take it so personal. I don't even have a hand in it, but I'm investing alot of attention into it.

I miss her. Only today when watching the presedential address about the pull from the Middle East did it really hit me. She's really there, serving her country. As much as she hates it, I really respect her, that's a noble thing. Will I do anything to benefit my country?

Am I thankful for anything for anything this year? I'm thankful for..the kindness of strangers. And not even to me. I was reading this news article about a woman who accidently called the wrong number, thinking she reached her daughter, telling her that she sent her daughter money for food even though that meant missing a mortgage payment. The stranger was touched by it, called that mother back, and said she would pay for the mortgage and her daughter's groceries. I mean I guess that might not seem so significant, but it makes me put faith in humanity. I hope I can help someone like that someday.

I've been reading more lately. Losing myself in a fictional world. What am I hoping to do? Hide from my real world problems of course. Damn stories, it's as easy as that eh?

Speaking of eh, I just found out my professor is Canadian. I told him that explains so much jokingly, and he responded with "Doesn't it, -eh-?" Totally my humor. It sucks I'm only getting to know this at the end of the semester. Goddamn am I ready to be done with this semester, though I doubt next will be any better. Harder classes, different classes, fuck.

Yeah, back to then. That'd be nice. Toi mong tro lai ngay xua.