fresh out

Whew, finals: done. That about wraps up my last days of this school year, and in a way, I'm sad to see it go. I've had lots of new experiences, met lots of new people, learned lots of new things, SAW SNOW.

One major thing about college: traveling. "What are you doing this summer?" "Oh I'm taking a tour around Europe, I'm going to Australia, I'm studying abroad in China...You?" "I'm...staying..and working." I don't even plan on leaving the state. Damn damn damn..

Finals I am glad to see go though. They were totally ass-raping, and not enjoyable in the least. Yeah I didn't study nearly enough, but apathy takes over at 3 in the morning when you're on the fourth floor of the library on your second mochasippi remembering the dates and significance of each Crusade.


Freshman year is I suppose officially over. It was fun, I liked it. But hey, if this year was enjoyable, let's hope it only gets better.

get right

So I've been told my expectations of those around me are set too high, for high expectations will only lead to disappointment. Though at first I pondered that it may be true of me, but then I had a thought. I only expect from those, what I myself am capable and more than willing to do. So why is it too much to expect this of them? Why can't I get in return what I so well give? Is it so hard to find someone dependable?

It's really just too exhausting to put up with. I'm disappointed. But I won't be spiteful now and throw it back, or else I'd be shafted down on that level as well, & then how can I morally put up with that?

Look, it's not like I mean to be a jerk, pick fights, or make anyone mad & hate me. I only act in a manner I feel most protective to me. If I do something that bothers you, I'm sorry. Really. I'm told I should check myself, but who would I be, if I didn't act in a way that's purely..me?

Let's call this a learned lesson & move on. Because I'm tired of being mad..

The ID(iot)

My mind is always torn between spite & compassion. So far, spite's in the lead. I know it sounds bad, that one would be no better to exact revenge on another for the mere fact it would "stoop down to their level," but I really really want to! Fuck.