It comes and goes, me.

I can't stop. I don't know what to do.

let's go to walmart at midnight and get boxes for free

I'm packing again. Joy.

It's not like I'm moving away or anything, I'm just going across town. I just hate having to pick up my life and stuff it into cardboard boxes.

Alot of change comes with this move. Some would see it in a good light. I'm not one of them. I almost had a panic attack when I first found out.

So here we go. A new chapter (sort of)

this blog is rant central

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I'm packing right now, & I pick up all the study abroad catalogs. Who am I kidding, it's now a pipe dream. *trashes*

I'm not sure what will become of me.

"but i already told you i was sorry"

I hate it when people say "I'm sorry." I hate it because people think that'll solve everything, that'll make everything better. "I'm sorry I cheated on you." Is saying sorry gonna make it okay that you cheated? No. People also say I'm sorry when they don't even mean it. Are you sorry? If you do something intentionally, you meant to do it, so what does sorry change. Why do something that you'd have to apologize for later? And do you expect me to forgive you just because you said you're sorry? Guess again. That means nothing to me.

Instead of hearing I'm sorry, I'd much rather hear: "Hey. I did -blank-, that's my fault. I take full responsibility and the consequences that it entails." Much better than some dumbass apology.

Wow it's weird how things can go from fine to horrible in mere hours. I'm going to bed, pretend my life is normal.

crappy or happy

Stumbled on this today at work. Some of them are too girly for my tastes, but her mini messages are nice.








Her cheesy drawings brought a genuine smile to my face, which hasn't been happening lately. I've been putting on a "happy" face on the outside, but I'm really burdened.




I think daydreaming makes me happy. Dreams are great, but I can't control those. Daydreaming, everything always goes my way.

35 years later

I think I'll call my dad later. I wonder what he's thinking today.

uhhhhh, *shrugs*

This isn't working. I really can't stay like this. Everything in my life is getting affected. Something has to go.

i'm sitting at the wings

It's a little lonelier this time around. Not the exciting excursion I was looking to. I could go around playing tourist with a camera at my hand, but I just want to sit in this corner and lose myself in another world. Clouds cover the sky, rain drops sting. I'm going home. In a way I want to be home already, in a way I want to go anywhere but home. Back to my rut, back to the emptiness.

My flights are delayed. Joy. I hope that's the worst it gets. No more continued delays.

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Some people are really mean. I only want to go home, don't be curt with me, I didn't do anything wrong.