let's go to walmart at midnight and get boxes for free

I'm packing again. Joy.

It's not like I'm moving away or anything, I'm just going across town. I just hate having to pick up my life and stuff it into cardboard boxes.

Alot of change comes with this move. Some would see it in a good light. I'm not one of them. I almost had a panic attack when I first found out.

So here we go. A new chapter (sort of)

this blog is rant central

=========================

I'm packing right now, & I pick up all the study abroad catalogs. Who am I kidding, it's now a pipe dream. *trashes*

uhhhhh, *shrugs*

This isn't working. I really can't stay like this. Everything in my life is getting affected. Something has to go.

110% !! no? how about 90? 75..

You know the ones who study ahead of time rather than the night before, who read the book diligently, who settle for nothing less than an A? Yeah, that's not me. Not at all.

Unproductive is my middle name. I wish I tried harder. I wish I gave it my all. But I don't. I settle for what I can get at the very minimum. And that's not good. You never get ahead in life by sitting on your behind.

Oh, it was my birthday last week. I'm 20. Twenty. God that's such a weird thing to say. Usually people start denying their age when they hit 40 or whatever but I'm already jumping on that bandwagon.

I wish I would know my physics grade already. Something I feel confident in, he takes his sweet ass time. Figures.


~~
Jae's on youtube! My twitter is freaking blowing up over this. This made my day, really. "Beautiful girls, all over the world" = ]

well, on the other hand

Halloween is done, & I've seen some pretty comical costumes. I didn't dress up as anything, but now I kinda wish I had.

This has got me thinking. Villains. We all hate villains, right? With every hero comes a villain who's only objective seems to bring the downfall of the cherished do-gooder.

If I had to pick, I think I'd rather be the bad guy. People like to like the good guys, but they love to hate the bad guys. It draws you in, wondering what a villain will do next.

Anyway, I'm just at working, not working as usual. That's evil, right?

playing ketchup

Wow, it's been a month since I wrote anything. Damn it seems long when I think about it, yet it feels like yesterday.

What have I been doing all summer? Hmm let's see..work. Can I think of anything else? Oh! Wonder Girls. I totally met Yoobin and my shoulder grazed her boob in the photo we took. Ahh that's a memory to treasure.

Anyway, school's back in which is rather refreshing, but my mindset is still in July, so I really need to bone up on calc and such. I'm not so fond of the extra traffic, long lines, and..swine flu. I actually know someone who has it, possibly two. How scary is that? When reality hits ya, it packs a punch. I hope they'll be fine though..

How come I never have anything insightful to write about? Though when I was watching a drama, I started thinking about what makes a good villain. I mean, anybody can play Johnny Goodman, but it takes work to be evil, to make everyone want to hate you. If I'm ever in a movie, I'd totally play the villain, being the hero is so vanilla.

Yeah, that wasn't insightful either, but fuck it.

yeah, this is crazy

As of 6/13/2009 12:02:53 AM EDT
I am 19 years old, which is 231 months old, which is 1,004 weeks old, which is 7,034 days old, which is 168,816 hours old, which is 10,128,962 minutes old, which is 607,737,773 seconds old. In other words, I'm old...

midterms. not fun.

Whew, finally done. I don't think I've ever studied so hard. Not even ACT or SAT. Usually when weariness creeps in, apathy tags along.

Of course it was put off until last minute..which in hindsight was not the wisest decision. But luckily, groups sessions actually prove productive (except for yours Kaylyn, entertaining as they may be!). Though we did often veer off-topic with random conversations, (jew-fros, a tortuous lecture, food, keying cars), a group effort works better.

Only late into the night did I look around and notice: I'm the only one in this that's not white. The whole class, vanilla. I wonder if anyone else's noticed...I don't feel uncomfortable or out of place though. If anything, I feel..unique?

I only got about an hour of sleep last night. Got back from the library at 2:30am, studied more until 4:30, took a nap, then woke up at 6 & studied some more. Joy.

There's this girl in my class who wrote a 20 page review on all her notes, & was gracious enough to send a copy to everyone in the class. I'm really thankful and all, but damn..do you have a life?

Delirious on coffee, coke, & cookies, I went to make an attempt of passing my midterm. Some things went pretty smoothly, some..not. Time flies when you're..getting mind-raped.

OH FUCK YES. I TOTALLY ACED THAT BITCH.

another sleepless night

I find myself still up. It's late...well not for me, but if I were a regular person it'd be. I should be going to bed. Homework sits on my bed, opened, yet unfinished. Typical.

But there is a New Year's resolution in mind: to study more, harder....(at all.) Do whatever it takes. So that means the library/Starbucks is second home. I've already started, sort of. I wonder how finals are going to be...I hear VERY stressing. Lovely.

I keep listening to JJ Lin. Especially a certain song, 小酒窝 or Small Dimples. It entrances me. So melodic. "Every night, I can't sleep... I keep thinking of your smile."

Tại sao tôi không thể ghi bất cứ điều gì tốt không?! Tôi suck suck suck!

ready 2 rip your hair out?

So according to my Calculus professor, -- a short, blinged-out, football-crazed man that is always so sure of himself that he'll bet his house (numerous times) that he's right. -- sociologists report that college, after raising children & getting a divorce, is the most stressful experience of your life.

"If you don't find college stressful, you must not be doing it right."

I'm rather indifferent. I suppose it still hasn't clicked that this is the time. Bullshitting your way through can't save your ass anymore. Darn...

Haha I read a facebook status that said "My grades are slipping faster than the DOW!" Sad thing is, I can relate. Fuck.

gettin bak in2 da groove

Man, there's like 200 computers in the library & I practically had to kill to get access to one. Hmm, half an hour before my last class starts. I have to find some way to spend two hours of dead time on Tuesdays. They should build a nap room. Well maybe not; it'd most likely be used for OTHER purposes.

So I'm getting used to this life. Not that I'm satisfied with it. Wake up, drive to school, sit in class, go home. Not much social..ness going on. In fact, I haven't said a word to anyone today. Me, the man who will find any excuse to speak. It's my fault. I expect people to always come to me, to take the first step. Now I suppose it's my turn. Fuck.

I need to get a job. Anything. I'm getting too swipe-happy on my credit card. (Though I did get nice remarks from the cashiers!) Up until I was reminded about rescheduling my pharmacy technician exam, I completely forgot about considering that. It isn't required for you to be certified for the job within the first six months or so. In fact, working there before could get me better training for the test. Blah, semantics.



It seems the LSU faculty fancies the word arbitrarily. Well, if you can fit that into your daily jargon, be my guest.

Things I've noticed around LSU
~the urinals are too high....or I'm too short
~Tiger card = gold! one girl has over $300 on hers & I about died of shock.
~if it's not an iphone, it's a blackberry.
~lunch rush? Psht. Always busy. Never a slow period.
~professors are just as lazy as the students.
~the foreign exchange asians wear rectangle framed glasses. Some don't even have a prescription. How weird is that?
~smokers think they're cool. you're not.
~EVERYDAY IS SPIRIT DAY. How many LSU labeled clothes do you need anyway? All cars (including mine, hehe) have some kind of LSU decal.
~coffee is the new water.
~everything is overpriced. $30 for shorts?! Hell no!
~hard rock cafe shirts are a fashion statement.
~free newspapers. YAY. The student written ones love to talk about sex & advertise alcohol.
~what's with all the gray hairs?

There's other stuff too. More later.

fighting tiger in action

Man I'm so tired. I'd go take a nap, but I'm sitting in the LSU library to kill time since I had three hours to kill for orientation. This MAC I'm typing on is nice, though. Two monitors, and it does that dragging feature which just astounds me. And I learned something today! Macbooks can right-click! It just needs to be set so! Damn! Now I should have gotten an Apple. Oh well.

Anyways, orientation has been long & mind-numbing. Lots of seating areas, I see. That's good, since after walking all across fucking campus I'd need a break. Am I excited for college? Hmmm...that's a very good question. It seems there is no stupid question here at LSU. Bullshit. But in regard to that, I STILL don't think the reality of this major transition in my life has hit me yet. Possibly when it's over the shock will hit me.

I think I only have to take four classes. That sounds great. Mandarin, Sociology, Calculus, & Biology. I think. Not sure yet, scheduling is tomorrow.

Man this blog entry sucks. Sorry for having to suffer. I'm so tired from only two hours of sleep. This world is not cut out for night owls.

Okay so maybe this environment isn't the hellhole I expected. Baton Rouge has some nice aspects to it. PERKINS ROWE. AMAZING. I suppose it could be worse.

Oh no, I'm growing up. That can't be. I just started.....eighteen years ago. Ouch. One gray hair, & it's up the bell tower I go.

tick tock

The clock strikes 4:22 AM. Not that I can even hear it; I don't own a single clock that isn't digital. Go figure. Why am I still up? Sometimes the life of a night owl is rather mind-numbing. Sure I wish I could go to sleep blissfully and wake with the coming of day, but some of us aren't blessed with such benefits. Maybe if there was more to do in the night, well here anyways. So I hear in S. Korea many stores are open 24-7. That sounds pretty cool, actually. I could get something done to occupy my restless mind.

Anyways. So I got my new laptop. I'm so paranoid about it. Now I know how Kaylyn feels. I even wipe fingerprints and smudges off the front and screen with a cloth that came with it. Once I get something else new and shiny, I'll get over the laptop. I don't necessarily bitch to get what I want, but my methods of persuasion are really something else. I still don't always get my way though. Trust me, if I did, things would be a lot different right now.

Always on a deadline. Fuck. Even in summer I can't truly relax. A vacation sounds so extravagant at this point. Maybe a trip to Vietnam. Yeah, that'd be fun. Back to my father's communist roots. With all this crazy weather wreaking havoc on the world where is there to hide?

So my mom wishes she could get back together with my dad. No surprise. She always does this every time she breaks up with another schmuck. She's going through her 3rd divorce. Do I have any pity for her? Nope. She did this to herself. My father sacrificed his happiness for the sake of his children while my mother goes out whoring her life. Now she regrets it? Too damn bad. She has no idea my dad has a girlfriend anyways. She would shit a brick to find out that the woman lives in the same damn city she does. Maybe they know each other. There's only so many nail salons in the city.

So everyone has their secrets. I have one in particular. In a matter of time everyone will find out. I'm tired of keeping it. Let's just hope it's for the best these things are put out into the open.

Ne cachent pas de moi. Montre-toi. Je vais vous trouver assez tôt.

in the course of a sunday

myanmar cyclone, 42 cent stamp, mary poppins, mall of america, fish face dim sum, fafsa, invitations, pictures, spoken mother's day card, bei jing

All without leaving the house.

i <3 apathy

I probably should be studying for the ACT right now instead of procrastinating with something not productive at all. Damn book cost me $30, you think that'd be enough of an incentive to read it, but what can you do?

I really just don't care anymore. "....& that ends the chapter...test on this material covered Friday." In Phan-lish that means "Blah blah I didn't teach shit but I'm still going to fuck you up with a bad grade unless you're Jewish." Quadrilles? Bitch please!

I seem to be dimming in all my classes lately...as much as I hate to say this it's not like me to do so. Why am I acting this way? It's not like slacking off means I get another chance to redeem myself. The end is near. I'm going to have to walk up there and get that fake diploma. I need more time. I need another chance. I do care. Really.

...at another glance...

So I watched that new movie 21...it was ok but the reason I bring it up is because they mentioned something I learned in Calculus...Newton's Method...It really felt good that I understood it...

It's just like walking in a bookstore, and you see a book you've read before. I don't know how to explain it, but knowing that you have some bond with that certain book brings about /pride/ or such


do u need help? aid? someone to talk to? don't hesitate. embrace this call. trust in me.

(sigh)

So much drama escalating in these recent days... Here closes out spring break, and it has been filled with...so much...problems...so much....trouble..

I figured Spring Break would be a nice relaxation from my usual hectic life filled with craziness and nuisances. I could just rest adaquetely and do what needs to be done. Who knew things would turn out the way they did? One problem after another presents itself. Within the group drama reveals its ugly nature. After the whole dilemma with Thao I didn't figure this would happen again. One friend with a conflict to another, and I have to put things in perspective. I don't know what to say at times, I'm stumped. I only hope they'll put aside their differences and get along for this is nothing to throw away a friendship for.

Then there is my own discord with a certain person trying to invade upon our circle. I'm not exactly sure why I respond the way I do, yet here I am. I suppose I feel threatened by this, but if things are truly fine, I have nothing to worry about. I could come off as brash and rude, but it I have my reasons. I just am not quite fond of the bickering and baby-attitude. Don't look to us for a mother. I have enough trouble with my own, this issue isn't needed. And speaking through someone else is a bitch move. You're not that bad, but don't push it. I can and will handle this shit if I feel the need to.

Words don't seem to be enough at times. Actions speak louder? True, but what should I do? Break out the pizza slicer?

Let's leave this entry on a good note... I got my car!!!! Yay me! I can go anywhere I want without having constrictions set on me. It still hasn't hit me, the shock I get to find out I'm growing up. I bet when it does it'll hit hard. The car isn't so bad. I'll get used to it after a while. Lots of things need to be done to it. Thank you Chị Hai, I do appreciate it. Please know I am grateful for you. I do love it. Sure it has its problems, but it's all mine. I'm still not satisfied yet though. I never will be. Merely one step after the other. There is this Acura I'm scoping out. Within 3-4 years, oh yeah..

-forever hp

ps...did you celebrate earth hour by turning off your lights? don't worry, me neither, though it is a nice thought.