attention everyone, everything

I hate...so much right now. I hate you. I hate me. I hate with a passion.

Greed, deception, ignorance, incompetence, cowardness, passiveness, indifference, stupidity...the list goes on.

Fuck this, fuck you, fuck me, fuck life. I don't care anymore.

Where are those razors?

fighting tiger in action

Man I'm so tired. I'd go take a nap, but I'm sitting in the LSU library to kill time since I had three hours to kill for orientation. This MAC I'm typing on is nice, though. Two monitors, and it does that dragging feature which just astounds me. And I learned something today! Macbooks can right-click! It just needs to be set so! Damn! Now I should have gotten an Apple. Oh well.

Anyways, orientation has been long & mind-numbing. Lots of seating areas, I see. That's good, since after walking all across fucking campus I'd need a break. Am I excited for college? Hmmm...that's a very good question. It seems there is no stupid question here at LSU. Bullshit. But in regard to that, I STILL don't think the reality of this major transition in my life has hit me yet. Possibly when it's over the shock will hit me.

I think I only have to take four classes. That sounds great. Mandarin, Sociology, Calculus, & Biology. I think. Not sure yet, scheduling is tomorrow.

Man this blog entry sucks. Sorry for having to suffer. I'm so tired from only two hours of sleep. This world is not cut out for night owls.

Okay so maybe this environment isn't the hellhole I expected. Baton Rouge has some nice aspects to it. PERKINS ROWE. AMAZING. I suppose it could be worse.

Oh no, I'm growing up. That can't be. I just started.....eighteen years ago. Ouch. One gray hair, & it's up the bell tower I go.

high fructose corn syrup, best friend

So I limited myself to merely one coke a day (if any) or if I'm out being social or such. It sucks. Only step one of a diet. NOOOOOOO. Goodbye cellulite, I hardly knew ye. One of my most prized possessions, along with porn.
The sweet fizz of a coke. Fuck why am I giving it up? Damn you Rachel & Aaron. But it's for the best. There's more out there than food and beverage. ........ I don't know either.

nothing to show for it

Let's start over. Hi. My name's Harrison. Nice to meet you. Have a nice day.

No redo button? Figures. What is that word? Repentance? Yuck. Damn you cricket. Take your umbrella and go. GUILT. How abstract. Yet such the plague. I can't breathe. Pang after pang.

Tôi không hiểu bạn. Lựa chọn di. Chỉ chắc chắn sao cho tôi không điên. Rời khỏi những giấc mơ của tôi, những hình ảnh tưởng tượng của tôi, tim của tôi. Thời gian thật sự chữa khỏi mọi vết thương? Hy vọng vào nó.

Ghen tị? Lợi dụng? Vải láng? Chắc chắn.

stitch in time

why would it take a near-death experience for me to feel most alive? Is that why the spark kids all toke up?

wash away my problems

"OUT DAMN'D SPOT!" Go ahead. Scrub. It won't make a difference.


The water from the showerhead spikes into me, each drop a dagger. The water's so hot it burns like the scarlet letter. Change of pace. Down goes the dial. Make the aqua so cold it numbs my soul.

Okay, I'm a prune now. Soap, you betrayed me. How can I be clean when i feel so dirty? Pull the plug. The secrets don't go down the drain...they float up and haunt me.

Guilt. Shame. Jealousy. Deception.

How could I breathe? I would've drowned long ago with all this thrown at me.

I'm only one person. How can I move a mountain? Blink, and I'll be gone.

I shouldn't have said anything. Sorry. Ignorance is bliss? Fuck.

You, Anh, 您, Tu, あなた, 당신

I love you for just being you.

Because of you, I dread to sleep and can't wait to wake.

You're the stars in my sky

You're the yin to my yang


Smile, because it's just so beautiful on you.


Your grin makes me melt.


Don't frown; it's just so heartbreaking.

Your laugh is music to my ears.

Your touch is electric.

Now just one question. Who are you?

tick tock

The clock strikes 4:22 AM. Not that I can even hear it; I don't own a single clock that isn't digital. Go figure. Why am I still up? Sometimes the life of a night owl is rather mind-numbing. Sure I wish I could go to sleep blissfully and wake with the coming of day, but some of us aren't blessed with such benefits. Maybe if there was more to do in the night, well here anyways. So I hear in S. Korea many stores are open 24-7. That sounds pretty cool, actually. I could get something done to occupy my restless mind.

Anyways. So I got my new laptop. I'm so paranoid about it. Now I know how Kaylyn feels. I even wipe fingerprints and smudges off the front and screen with a cloth that came with it. Once I get something else new and shiny, I'll get over the laptop. I don't necessarily bitch to get what I want, but my methods of persuasion are really something else. I still don't always get my way though. Trust me, if I did, things would be a lot different right now.

Always on a deadline. Fuck. Even in summer I can't truly relax. A vacation sounds so extravagant at this point. Maybe a trip to Vietnam. Yeah, that'd be fun. Back to my father's communist roots. With all this crazy weather wreaking havoc on the world where is there to hide?

So my mom wishes she could get back together with my dad. No surprise. She always does this every time she breaks up with another schmuck. She's going through her 3rd divorce. Do I have any pity for her? Nope. She did this to herself. My father sacrificed his happiness for the sake of his children while my mother goes out whoring her life. Now she regrets it? Too damn bad. She has no idea my dad has a girlfriend anyways. She would shit a brick to find out that the woman lives in the same damn city she does. Maybe they know each other. There's only so many nail salons in the city.

So everyone has their secrets. I have one in particular. In a matter of time everyone will find out. I'm tired of keeping it. Let's just hope it's for the best these things are put out into the open.

Ne cachent pas de moi. Montre-toi. Je vais vous trouver assez tôt.