...on my own....

It would be exciting wouldn't it? I suppose it would be lonely, but for the most part, fun.

is it me? it seems i'm always wrong, the one that suffers

So it's been a few days since that huge debacle...Reflecting upon it, there are things I regret saying. I wish I didn't say things just to hurt, but what choice did I have? It didn't seem to faze very much anyways. Is there anything you regret at all? You don't want to listen to me, your own brother? If you won't listen to your own family, who can you listen to? Timothy's family? Is this how the rest of our family is so distant? They mind their "own business?" Isn't your business mine too? Do you think I don't care? When you told me you had TB, I was so scared that I cried, something I try never to do. You seriously think I don't care? I'm only human. You are so wrapped up in telling me I'm always wrong that you don't even realize your own faults. Maybe if you weren't so damn stubborn like your mother you would take it constructively.

Have we fallen in too deep? Is this seriously how it ends? "Point of no return?" I don't know what to say to fix our dilemma at this point. You won't give, and neither will I. Dad doesn't know what the hell to do, or maybe he just doesn't care. He is too involved in Co Phung to deal with his children. Disappointment is just a summary.

As remorseful as I am, I'm not going to bend. That's just not me. If we never talk again, that would be truly sad, but let this be a lesson. You need your family. I don't know if I will come live with you. I can't have all this craziness to happen where I am supposed to think of as a haven. I already have enough regrets. I just don't know anything anymore.

...i never finish anything....

..in hopes it'll never end...

me? no...dun b ignorant...

OK OK I'll play your little game Kaylyn.. Pay it forward much?

"Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave them a comment ("You're It") and to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. Since you can't tag me back, let me know when you've posted your blog so I can see your answers!"

#1. The unknown both fears and excites me.

#2. I would give anything for another chance at life. I regret so much. Do I learn from it? No.

#3. I can't sleep wearing socks. It's not right. It's like torture. Right up there with flogging and watching Seinfeld.

#4. My gift of song is most beautiful when no one is around to hear. Sad, really..

#5. Music should be a language. It just emotes so much better. Escape from reality... What would I do without music? It's my muse... at least one of them...

#6. I daydream all day, everyday.... I suppose it's to make up for not having imaginative dreams, or dreams at all..

#7. Trust me, it's just bravado...I feel, too...

#8. Is it that weird I'm allergic to peanuts? No I don't swell up and explode, but trust me, I am. And no I wouldn't like it if I could eat it!!!

#9. I like to stand out from the rest, but I try even harder to just fit in....

#10. Are the best things in life free? Let's hope not..I want to earn it..I want to deserve it..

Who shall I tag? Well if you're reading this, go ahead. Do it.

..chuc mung nam moi?....ok....

So today is the new year...lunar-wise....yes the Chinese New Year you hear it referred to...bastards...

Rather uneventful really. I should have skipped and done something worthwhile. Year of the Rat...Sucks that I'm a horse and that means this year is not quite the most prosperous of years for me..

I have to present tomorrow at the International Club meeting about the New Year and how we celebrate it..But really do I know anything beyond the food, fireworks, and li xi? What's the culture behind it? What does it represent and mean to a person living in the motherland? My perspective of it gets shrouded in American customs to where I see a holiday as a chance for food and money..sad, really.

So it is the New Year, and with it should come commitments, resolutions.. Do I have any? No. Should I? Yes. A number of my friends have taken on a soft drink sacrifice. Sorry, I'm not strong enough, I need some sort of crutch. But I should prove to myself I'm strong enough to manage without something that's bad for me anyways..

"Sống lâu trăm tuổi.."